THE TRIGGER FINGER EPISODE

2 years ago, I decided it was time to practice 'jump-switch'.  If you are unfamiliar with yoga, imagine being in a runners' lunge, right leg forward, hands on the floor.  With one swift and smooth move, you weight your hands, lift legs from the ground, and land with left leg forward, right leg back -- another lunge.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?  I thought so, and I have never been able to 'get' it.  Hence, this story:  I was warming up to teach a class of climbing athletes, decided to try a 'jump-switch' when no one was watching (I have issues of feeling 'less than', at times). What happened?  First attempt - I lifted off, felt GREAT pain in the distal (closest to fingernail) joint of my right ring finger, came down in a lump, praying it wasn't broken (it wasn't).

I taught the class, still feeling that finger. For many months, the pain and discomfort persisted tho lessening each day.  My therapy: to caress it and gently pull on the joint to create space, also some Ibuprofen.  But, as the pain dissipated, I noticed discomfort in the joint closer to my palm (you know, the one that rings have trouble getting over some times), I'll call it the middle joint.  I continued creating space in the joints of that finger, but something new was happening.

Every so often, when I bent that finger significantly, the middle joint would lock in that bent position.  Now, I don't know about you, but when something 'locks' up in my body, I WANT IT UNLOCKED, THE SOONER THE BETTER.  I kept creating space, slept with my hand firmly under my pillow so that it wouldn't bend in the night.  My fear:  that, if it remained stuck for any period of time, it might not UNSTICK.  After months of fear, angst, worry, I made an appointment to have the finger looked at by a orthopedic physician specializing in the hand.

Yesterday was the day.  My choice of physician was assisted by Google, but I chose a physician within one of the larger physician conglomerates in San Diego.  I had little to go on but his picture, and he looked young.  A one-hour drive from home, I left early, arrived early, and was nervous (I am usually never nervous in these situations).  I think the prospect of a deformed hand, maybe even surgery, was at work here.

Physician's quick diagnosis:  Trigger Finger. (or, stenosing tenosynovitis) Cause - inflammation and irritation (could have come from the initial injury; tho it usually results from medical conditions - which I don't have - or trauma to the base of the finger or palm), and each time the finger 'sticks' it only creates more inflammation/irritation, setting me up for continued issues.

What did he do?  Well, he gave me a shot, in my palm about 2 inches below the affected joint.  Finger went numb for a while.  Since then, it has locked once more mildly, and I am hopeful this does the trick.

Oh, and about the physician:  A young Woody Harrelson, short hair, boots and all.  Younger than my son, I'm sure (that means early 30's).  The cuteness factor took care of any credibility issues I might have with age.  That, plus when he entered the room, he introduced himself -- how many physicians do that?  Nice.

So, there you have it.  Any questions about Trigger Finger, just ask -- I have a 3-page handout from the physician.

Hope you have a great Wednesday; off today to get my hair cut and colored -- that's nice, too.

THE WAY IT IS

Relating back to the poem I posted last Thursday, it is all pretty much the same.

Same drama with regards to Anusara Yoga -- not knowing, just being patient as things filter out. Offering a comment here and there on Facebook.  Trying to stick with Howard's advice:  "don't write anything on Facebook that you don't want in print on the front page of your local newspaper".  Good advice.

Those of us who are/were in the Certification process have joined together in a group called the "Honey Badgers" on Facebook (honey badgers are relentless creatures, especially when backed into a corner).  Why?  Well, we need to do something to keep our minds occupied and off the crisis.  The group's intent is to offer connection, communication, and support to one another, with the caveat -- no discussion of the Anusara issues.  We are simply about working towards our goal of becoming the best yoga teachers we can be -- much like a honey badger would do.

People wonder about why I just don't teach, forget about it (the goal).  When that happens, I remember this line of the poem:  "People wonder about what you are pursuing.".

Some days I wonder too.  And, I am still teaching, still studying.  I have not, however lost sight of my goal, my thread.

At this stage, I am happy to be in my sixties.  Through all this - watching the angst and petty-ness of some comments, the mean-ness of others, and - of course - the well thought through comments - I remain calm.

Not letting go, but not getting carried away, either.

Today?  Teaching at the Library.  Request for shoulder and neck work; better get back to the books.

Enjoy your Monday and your week,

LOVE THIS . . .

From Karen Sprute-Francovich:

The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change.  But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

~ William Stafford ~

SO, HOW'D IT GO -- THE WORKSHOP, THAT IS?

Few people knew I was presenting a workshop.  I guess I kept it a pretty good secret.

For a while, I thought I might break the attendance barrier -- after all, there were people signed up in advance (3).  In the final count, 4 students chose to attend.  What to do?

Proceed, full speed.

I've been taking another on-line course (LOVE those on-line courses) with Eric Stoneberg, New York yoga instructor and philosophy buff who studies with Douglas Brooks.  I became acquainted with Eric thru his blog, after stumbling on it one day and reading a long, but interesting, post about Akhilandeshvari (I think).  I kept reading, and loved his writing on the 16 Laksmi's.  Then, the moon goddesses.  And, this was just the blog.

Back to the course -- this month's topic is Ganesh (last month it was Lalita Tripura Sundari).  Ganesh, as Eric explains it, stands at every threshhold (in India, this is literally 99% true, as each household and business has a Ganesh monitoring the door).

As I planned this workshop, I wondered exactly how to 'do' it -- it's not like a class where you sequence to an apex pose.  It's a longer 'class', focusing - in this case - on a specific body part, the hips.  I put my workshop ideas together with some thoughts from Eric's presentation and, voila!  For the opening, I spoke a bit about the threshhold idea, then we did a short Ganapati mantra 11 times (why 11? That's the number of times we must do something to remember.) I continued using Ganesh throughout the class -- equating hip opening to walking across a threshhold into a new room (a new thought process about the process of opening our hips - see next paragraph).

Then, I needed a goal for the workshop -- something students would take away from this session. I decided that the goal would be 'hip opening is better done from the inside out'.  Meaning that, opening will happen more effectively if we strengthen our body and mind, and use both to create opening.

And, what happened?  Well, I ran out of time -- I looked up at the clock, as we finished standing poses, only to discover that it was 3:55.  Oh, no!  5 minutes to do some more effective hip opening stuff on the floor, and get in a good savasana.  We did do a couple of the things I had planned, then to savasana.  My consolation -- reflecting on the work we had done, I could truly see why Martin Kirk says 'every pose is a hip opening pose'.

Response from students was positive.  The best one?  "It hardly seemed like 2 hours."  That's good.  I'll take it.

Maybe I'll do another one -- "Happy Hips, Part Deux, II, or 2".

Hope your Monday is a good one.  Library, here I come!

THE 'FRIEND' COUNT

As we muddle through the Anusara upheaval, what is one good thing?  My Facebook "Friend" count has gone up -- like, by 31 people!

31 people I might have met somewhere, or may never have met; nevertheless, they want to be my 'friend'. As one who always hoped to be the 'popular' girl (but never was), this is great fun.  People wanting to hang out with me, if only on Facebook.  

Be still my heart.  

But, don't get too cocky, Leslie.  They could just as easily 'unfriend' me -- in the Facebook world, you're just a 'click' away from being cut off, de-friended, asked to leave a group.  

It's happened, to me -- that being 'asked to leave a group' part.  During all the mess of the past 3 weeks, three groups formed on Facebook -- one for teachers, another for teachers (only), and a third for those who were not sure what the future holds (at least that was the stated intention in the beginning).  I joined all three; I wanted to hear it all, everyone's position.  It's been challenging (as I wrote a bit earlier this week), holding my tongue (or keyboard fingers). 

Then came 'the' message.  A request on the third site (I call it the 'on the fence' site), asking that those of us who were not resigning to please leave the group.  A bit offended, I decided to 'sign off'; used just those terms - 'signing off', and left the group.  

It's easier now -- just two pages to check in on and many of the comments I read are duplicates, so the second time thru I can usually skim.  Saves time.  

What rankles me a bit is when I see a comment on one of MY 2 pages from someone who has resigned. Not that I don't want to hear what they have to say, but they asked ME to leave their group. What's that about?  What makes it worse is that the person asking ME to leave the group had been my friend (not Facebook but real friend); at least I thought she was.  We had spent an entire week together in Boston at the last Level 2 Teacher Training John did there - partnering, chatting, sharing info.  Then she asks ME (and a few hundred others, I'm sure) to leave the group.  Well!  Let's just say I won't be sending her a 'friend request' any time soon.  

So, onward.  Enough about my desire to be popular, well-liked.  Those who know me, like me or not.  I often use Christina's saying of "I'm an acquired taste".  Just look at my classes.  If you want more information that you ever hoped possible, if you want to move more slowly, if you want the question answered that you didn't ask, if you want someone to nitpick at you; then, come to my class.  OOOH, I better read that and learn from some of my mistakes.  

Workshop today -- Happy, Healthy Hips -- and I already have people signed up.  Hoo-Ray!

Hope your Saturday is a good one, 

PREPARATION

I am in the final stages of preparing for a 2-hour workshop that I will present tomorrow (Saturday, 2-4pm), in Temecula at Living Yoga (plug for you locals).  Topic of the workshop:  "Happy, Healthy Hip Opening".

Let me begin by saying my hips are tight.  I am not the yoga teacher who effortlessly slides in Hanumanasana (forward splits) and Upavista Konasana (seated with legs spread laterally) is a dvesha, or to-be-avoided, pose no matter what.

 ((Someday, when all the JF upheaval has died down, I'll tell you my own personal UK and John Friend story.))

So, last month, I signed up for Doug Kellar's webinar on YogaUOnline, called Safe Hip Opening.  I had two reasons.  One, I want to be able to do Hanumanasana, and UK with ease.  And, two, when I first began Anusara Yoga, I read Mr. Kellar's book, "Hatha Yoga in the Anusara Style".  After reading that book, I clearly understood muscular energy, inner and outer spiral, the loops, and gained a ton of anatomy info that had previously been a mystery to me (as in, not covered in the college anatomy classes I'd taken 30 years ago).  His ability to write all this out speaks to me, to the way I learn best, so why wouldn't I take the course?

I had also recently purchased 3 books of his -- 2 on therapeutics and 1 on pranayama, rekindling my interest in his offerings.

Curled on the sofa, laptop in hand, I listened to the first of the two webinar sessions.  Jaw-dropping information.  The next week, I listened again -- tho, not live (something got in the way).  Fortunately, these are recorded so you can listen at any time.  More info that left me wanting more; and also left me knowing that the two poses mentioned above may never be easeful for me, depending on the bone structure of my femurs.  So long as I know why, it becomes an easier acceptance.

I continued, after those webinars, to read -- I'm now 3/4 of the way through the Therapeutics books. As I read, the temptation to skip parts is not there. I read every word. I might not remember every word, but as I read, I visualize and - hopefully - some of the info is trapped in my memory bank.  That's the affect his writing has on me -- the ability to visualize.

Then, I offered to present the workshop mentioned in para 1.  Why?  Because hip opening has sometimes been presented to me as 'violent' work -- like 'get them open', now hold or keep them there (if you struggle with fire log pose, reflect on how you feel when in that pose!).  Hip opening, rather, appears to me to be gentle work, feeling work; not just inner spiral and scoop, but movement that strengthens and lengthens the ligature and muscles on all sides of the hips - glutes, adductors, abductors, psoas, iliacus, etc. -- and these are all affected by the feet, knees, back, not just the joint itself.

Whens students indicate they want 'hip-opening' poses, I remember Martin Kirk's response:  "EVERY pose is a hip opener!"

Wow!  2 hours will certainly not be long enough.  But, it will be a start.

Hope you have a great Friday!

THE CHALLENGES OF THIS DISCUSSION

As we move through the Anusara upheaval, Facebook has provided lots of information - good and not-so-good.  It is a source of connection, however, to the greater community; which, right now is fractured and waiting (at least, many of us are waiting).

There is a promise of a re-structuring of the organization (and some other promises).  A task that is not easy in any 'business' -- re-structuring.  It takes time.  Fortunately, I've had enough experience in the world of business to know this, so waiting is not a problem or a sign or non-action to me. It all takes time -- weeks, maybe months.

As I wait, however, I would not be telling the truth if I said 'all this is easy'.  It's not.  Each time I look at Facebook and read something I disagree with, I am tempted to comment; perhaps to say something I will regret (you can only push me so far and then I 'bite').  Some days it is just NOT possible to keep my mouth shut (or my fingers from typing).  Each time I give way to the temptation, I am careful tho.

It is important, at these weak moments, to remember that these people are my friends -- whether I have met them or not. We might have partnered in a workshop somewhere and I've forgotten; or we may have met in a line waiting to use the restroom somewhere; or, we could have participated in a webinar or teleseminar together. In my 10+ years of practicing Anusara Yoga, I've met hundreds of people.  Besides, civility dictates, in my book. And, as my wise husband had said many times, 'don't burn your bridges'.

I am learning to read comments, and to step back and take a breath.  This is a good lesson for me.  I do know how to do it in class (remember my experience with 'it's slower' -- I didn't react there, did I?). I am not so sure I know how to do it very well in life outside the classroom, workshop, training, etc. This is good training.

Today? Cleaning.

Yesterday?  Classes went well - Gentle/therapeutic and Prenatal - using chairs, learning from the students; from their physical stuff and from their experiences.

And, my study?  Wow, I read, I practice, I experience and understand.  Amazing!

Hope you have a great Wednesday,